Tonight my roommate walked in the door in tears. She took the subway home from Manhattan. A stranger sat next to her. He put his hand on her knee. She stood up and walked away. He asked "if Trump can do it why can't I?".
She told me this story and I felt angry. I felt angry that we live in a world where a man can look at a woman and think that he has some right to her body. That he is in some way entitled to touching a stranger because she is a woman. That no one stepped in. That on a subway full of people, this moment went unnoticed. That in a city full of people, these moments are commonplace.
She told me this story and I felt sad. I felt sad that we live in a world where women in every city have these stories. That she isn't the first person this has happened to, and she won't be the last. That there is a generation of girls who will deal with these moments and not feel surprised.
But more than any of that, she told me this story and I felt helpless.
I felt helpless because on Tuesday we elected a man with a history of sexual assault and accused of rape to be the next president of the United States. In doing so, we sent the message that these actions are okay. We, as a nation, implicitly agreed that his behavior was acceptable. We said that it was alright to do the things he has been accused of doing. We decided that you could still win our respect, even if you were unwilling to give yours in return.
The repercussions of a Trump presidency are for the most part unknown; and while I'd like to believe that the ramifications won't be as extreme as the media would have us believe, one thing is for sure...electing Trump has changed the dialogue in our nation.
We haven't started WWIII or built a wall, but we have sent the message that equality is not for all. We have collectively shut down any conversations about the validity of the female experience. We have made it clear that we would rather protect men's self-esteem than women's piece of mind.
By allowing a man with his history to reach this level of power, we have told men that they can get away with actions that should have been labeled unforgivable. We have told men that they are allowed free access to the bodies of women everywhere. We have told them that they will not be punished for their words or actions. And in turn, we have told women that they don't matter.
We have told women that they can no longer feel safe taking the train home at night. We have told women that if they speak out against the men that violate them, they will be ignored. We have told women that the ego of one man is more important than the security and mental well being of all of them.
And I feel helpless.
There's nothing that I can say to convince my roommate that it will all be okay, because there is a very real possibility that it won't be. There's nothing I can say to the man on that train, or the countless others like him, to change their behaviors. There's nothing I can say to trick myself into believing that I can feel safe in this city again.
It's time for some honesty friends....I feel helpless. And until the rest of the nation feels as helpless as I do, I'm going to have to get used to feeling this way. For women everywhere, helpless is the new normal. And it's not a normal that I want to be a part of.
